Feelings Within
by TicTacStory
Summary: What exacly happened after Roger told Mello that L died?  "Feelings are strange...they are there and you dont know how, love,friendship,hate,regret...its pretty funny, love and hate, one step away, who exacly is there to blame if you confuse those two?"


_**Tick Tick!**_

There was a careful ticking in the window, soft and cautious, yet loud enough to wake Matt up.

He lazily opened his eyes and found himself staring at the ceiling, he look to his right, the bed being slept in by Linda, Matt frowned, he never understood that girl, nor will he ever understand her, but then again, Wammy House was full of un-understandable people, Matt himself probably was, his addiction for gaming, his smoking habit;a habit his mother would tell him off and eventually slap him cross the face for smoking, but she was dead, soo who was going to tell him off? Roger? Please.

He could be number one if he tried, he really could, but Matt being Matt, his mind having the "Too much trouble than its worth" philosophy.

Matt digged his nails into the bed sheet and for a moment he thought the ticking was just his imagination.

_**Tick Tick Tick!**_

Just when he was off to his dreams, the ticking started again.

Matt stood straight in his bed and tried listening again, was he going crazy or...?

_**Tick Tick Tick!**_

The boy stood up and with all his cautious-ness he walked to the window, succesfully not waking anyone.

It was when he opened the window when he realized it was raining, and by the looks of it, the rain was getting harder and harder by the second.

_Jeez what the hell?_

He looked to the right and spotted his friend sitting on the roof, Mello.

Matt looked alarmed when Linda was yawning and rolling her bed. Matt`s intuition told him to knock her unconcious, but he thought better of it and instead put on his boots and jacket to get on the roof.

It was a vague night, the day had been not much better, Roger had been walking around with a alarmed expression and whenever someone asked something he would just nod and run off to his, I mean, Watari`s office.

Finally Matt got up the roof, and as if the weather had heared him, the clouds started crying harder than ever, soo much Matt nearly slipped off the builind, he yelped and thought Mello would`ve heard him, no, Mello probably DID hear him but just didnt feel like looking over to his friend, because thats just how Mello was.

"God Mello what is wrong with YOU?" Said Matt when he finally sat down next to his friend, who, by the way, was drenched as hell.

Mello shrugged, not looking at his friend once.

"Want to go inside?" Matt tried.

No answer.

Matt decided to remain silent, the look in his friend`s eyes, there was something... someting sad.

Matt stared at the landscape, it was...pretty, he and Mello had spent the past five years in Wammy`s, it was their only home, the only place they had.

"Im leaving" The blonde finally said, not parting his gaze from the bricks beneath him.

_Leaving...? ha, not funny._

"Right, whatever you say, but honestly your going to catch a co-"

It was the look in his friends eyes, his body language, that what told Matt that Mello wasnt joking, that the he was serious, he could also tell that Mello was holding in, feelings whiting the boy, feelings he tried to hide.

Matt put his hand on his friend`s shoulder, and with a stunned expression, spoke.

"Mello...what are even saying?"

Mello didnt answer, soo Matt continued.

"This is our home Mello, there is no where else we can go, and besides, you are still 14, you cant leave yet, if the police catch you they will bring you right back, you have no money- and..."

Mello`s expression remained, his eyes shimmering, his hair soaking, his lips slightly parted, his head looking down at the bricks.

"What has gotten INTO you?" Matt finally blurted.

"You have been going weird all day, Mello, seriously Im wo-"

Mello spoke softly, the tone in his voice that hardly seemed to belong to him "L is dead."

Matt blinked a few times, his sentece left un-finished. And maybe it was the thunder going on, or maybe it was the rain that still brushed against their skin, but Matt felt chills running down his spine, his blood going cold, as if his father had died all over again.

Which is weird in one way, since Matt never directly spoke to L, but L...L was a figure everyone in Wammy`s wished to be, wished to meet, L was somewhat a savior to every orphan there, someone to look up to...

Matt refused to believe his friends, and instead asked him a question.

"Mello...are you on drugs?" He tried to look careless and cocky, but his hands were forever shaking.

"He got killed" _By Kira_ Mello finished under his breath.

The rain and thunder gave the landscape a magic and dramatic touch, the two boys sitting on the roof, the rain pouring around them, the grass, the flowers, the trees, the clouds crying as if they knew this was going to happen.

"...Mello"

Matt`s grip weakend, his mind was frozen.

_How could L, L! get killed by that bastard known as Kira? it cant be happening, this...what._

Mello broke the silence,remaining fairly calm given the circumstances. "Near will succeed L, I will chase him on my own, I will join the Mafia, I will do whatever it takes to avenge L"

Matt tried to catch Mello`s eyes, his eyes were filled with hatred, hatred that caused Matt some sort of anger.

"Mello, are you doing this to avenge L or beat Near?" It came out more hurtfull than he intended.

"..."

The look on Mello`s face said enough. "I cant believe you"

"Neither can I" Mello looked up the sky, but closed his eyes almost instantly by the rain.

Matt`s mind was as fuzzy as Near`s hair in the morning, his thoughts clashing against eachother, and perhaps it was his unclear thinking that made him pronounce the words that shocked even Mello.

"Damm this Mello, im coming with you"

After a stunned silence, the blonde spoke.

"Dont."

"I will" Matt assured.

"Why?" Mello questioned.

"I am not leaving you on your own, Mello, you are my bestfriend, also, this is for L aswell, no matter what, if we die we die together, if we win we win together-"

"-And besides, my games are getting boring, this can get interesting" He finished, and weakly smiled.

Mello stood up, and for the first time that evening, he stared into his friends eyes, he was right; in the orphanage they had no one but themselves, Mello and Matt had something not many kids there had, a friendship that would surpass heaven and hell, death and life, a friendship that needed just a silence to know whats going on, a friendship that even if it gets you killed, its all worth it if it helped the other.

Those eyes, accompaned by that smile, Mello felt, maybe if it was just a bit, but it made him feel safer, more secure.

"Matt, im sorry" and maybe he was just confused by the rain, but he Matt could swear there was a tear escaping the blonde`s cheek.

"Sorry? for what?"

"For dragging you down with me"

Matt smiled and also stood up, he grabbed Mello`s hand and pulled him towards himself, his head on Matt`s chest.

"Mello, you idiot"

And Mello knew that moment, he knew he could count on him, while his friend had him locked in his arms, it suddenly didnt feel like it was Mello against the world, he wasnt alone, he had someone...someone that was there for him, that feeling.

It was a good feeling.

_**A/N Aww, somehow rooftop scenes with rain make soo sad its weird.**_

_**Review and get a hug :3**_


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